A quote from one of the most cinematic-minded of the great authors, Edgar Alan Poe:
“There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness.”
I thought of this the other night while walking to my car after dinner with some friends. Without being conscious of it, I looked up to a window in a nearby residential building and was struck by a sudden wave of melancholy. It wasn’t the type that dug into the soul, but the feeling was no less palpable. It had nothing to do with the state of my life at that moment; I’m aware that odd things happen occasionally and pass quickly. Not this one. The mood hung on as I drove away, so I did what I usually do: I detached from the feeling and observed it from a distance.
I’ve always thought there’s as much beauty as sadness in old-school, green-ish-tinted fluorescent light, and that was exactly what set off my reaction. When you see it from the street, dimly confined to the dirty window of a small apartment or storefront, it instantly evokes a response that can’t be replicated by any other color in the spectrum. That certainly is strange, especially when it gets me thinking. Who lives there and what is their life like? That place is a hundred years old. Who lived there before them? Would any of them have been aware of how fast time slips away?
I’ve tried to explore the answers to those questions through my work but have never been able to nail it. The mental gymnastics that underpin it are probably a lot more complex than any filmic effort, and I don’t have the intent to go deeper within to find if that’s true.
Which leaves us with context, both narrative and technical. Everyone responds to things in their own way. Though the root of the melancholy remains a mystery (as it probably should!), being open to those moments provides the carrot I’ll keep chasing until they take me off the set, feet first. Hopefully that won’t be for a very long time, but when it comes, it will make for a very strange sight indeed.
I’ve always loved seeing some old Cool White fluorescent colors at night in store and apartment windows… even though I personally wouldn’t want to live under it! Similar feeling about mercury vapor security and street lamps. Maybe it’s wrapped in nostalgia, I don’t know, or it’s just that cyan is an intriguing color.